My Journey

I doubt anything I write tonight will make any sense at all. This is the result of a cup of coffee at 8:30pm, but since I'm up and thoughts are flooding through my mind, here it goes.
Do you ever wonder what made you the person you are right now? I do. I'm responsible, mature, fervently Catholic, outwardly optimistic, inwardly a worrier, some weird mix between an introvert and an extrovert. I love children, the number 5, purple, singing, a good book, crisp & cool autumn days, brown eyed susans, late nights, the ocean, road trips, hard work... I enjoy moving fast, but hate running. I cry every December 6th. I have no big aspirations for my future (besides going to heaven). Seeing people mad at each other for long periods of time breaks my heart; I have never managed to be mad at anyone for more than a few days (I've tried). All of these things are me. But why?
Some of the aforementioned traits are recent. For instance, I have only enjoyed road trips for the past year or so. Other preferences, like mine for the color purple, have lasted 16 years. Every event, every soccer game, every field trip and talk with friends impacted who I am today. My father's death when I was 10 and being raised in a large family made me mature and responsible. I inherited the worrying, but the optimism is a coping mechanism I picked up to deal with life.
Anyway, all of these things, these little talents and quirks are part of God's plan for me. I firmly believe at some point in time these idiosyncrasies will help me in my vocation, doing God's will. Just like in the movie "Signs" how the little girl's OCD about water and her brother's asthma save the day? But for this to be true, every moment of my life, the nights I couldn't sleep, the days nothing went right, the trials and the joys- every detail God worked into his plan for me. As St. Teresa of Avila said, "The feeling remains that God is on the journey too." And that thought can bring peace even during the most confusing parts of life. For God is on the journey too.