Can you imagine traveling across the globe and joining another culture? A culture with no television, no computers, no cell phones, little if any contact with the modern world? A culture where everything is shared in common, no personal possessions? A culture so drastically different from the one you grew up in and far from the people you know?
This is the change one makes in joining a convent. You may not travel across the world, but the distance between your old life and your new one is the same. Two of my friends have entered convents. Another very close friend will be entering in a few months. I'm thrilled for her. Listening to her talk about the convent and the sisters there, I can hear how much she feels at home there. I'm already aware of how in love she is with the Lord. At the same time though, I'm losing a dear friend. I won't see her for several years; no phone calls, no letters, nothing.
So I'm thinking about what it would be like to make that transition myself. To leave behind this world I've grown up in and the people I love to follow my call. I can't imagine it.
Yet at the same time, I'm still searching for the place I feel at home. If I found it, would that be feeling be enough to persuade me to go? It reminds me of the dilemma Hodel faced in Fiddler on the Roof. She had always loved her family, but a new love superseded the first. Though she was torn she had to go "where her heart had settled long ago." So I continue this pursuit of peace, searching for where my heart has gone ahead.
Pax Christi!
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