I am ambitionless. I have no dreams of taking over the world or having a great career. I don't know which direction I want my life to go. I see a couple options, but they look equally good. I'm going to college because it is necessary for a job, but I don't know which job I'd like to have.
This is what I do know:
~I am a people person. I like belonging to a community and having an identity within a group. It doesn't matter if that is in a volunteer group, a club, a group of friends, my family, work.
~I want to give my life to God. How could I not, for He has given so much to me? If I have a family, I have a couple ideas for a ministry or two I would love to start or be involved in. If not, I want to enter a convent (or a lay community) dedicated to His service.
~I need a purpose. I need to have a challenge each day that I can tackle. I hate being bored passionately.
I have been told by a few people that I should have more ambitions, want more in life. Honestly, I never know how to respond to that. This is all I want. Then I found this quote from St. Therese, the Little Flower:
“My God, you know that the only thing I’ve ever wanted is to love you; I have no ambitions for any other glory except that. In my childhood, your love was there waiting for me; as I grew up, it grew with me; and now it is like a great chasm whose depths are past sounding. Love breeds love; and mine, Jesus, for you, keeps on thrusting out towards you, as if to fill up that chasm which your love has made - but it’s no good; mine is something less than a drop of dew lost in the ocean. Love you as you love me? The only way to do that is to come to you for the loan of your own love; I couldn’t content myself with less. Dear Jesus, I can have no certainty about this, but I don’t see how you could squander more love on a human soul than you have on mine! That’s why I venture to ask that these souls you’ve entrusted to me may experience your love as I have. One day, maybe, in heaven, I shall find out that you love them better than me, and I shall be glad of that, glad to think that these people earned your love better than I ever did. But, here on earth, I just don’t find it possible to imagine a greater wealth of love than the love you’ve squandered on me without my doing anything to earn it.”
So apparently I'm not alone in my ambtionless desires. Nice to know.
Pax Christi!
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