Advent

Advent. It is all about waiting. Anticipation builds. People prepare. Decorations are hung, gifts are bought. We go to confession and clean the house. The readings at mass focus on repentance. Children are counting down the days. It seems we are hovering on the brink, almost there, but not yet. We wait.
When Christmas finally arrives it is wonderful. Things aren't perfect but family gathers together, gifts are exchanged. We celebrate the greatest gift we have all been given together. There is deep joy enveloping everyone and everything.
I recently read an article that compares advent to discernment. I used to like advent, but now I feel too busy to appreciate the season. It is often accompanied by lists to do, craziness at work, and when I'm in school, dreaded finals. I feel like my discernment too is on hold. I feel God is calling me to visit a particular place. As far as I can see though, the timing won't work out until after I graduate college. I don't want to wait in this spot for 2 years. But this time is not just meant to wait. It is meant to be a trial, to strengthen my faith and devotion. Am I discerning because it is convenient and makes me sound holy? Or am I doing it out of love for God? Have I learned to trust His plans even when the timing doesn't fit mine? Am I ready to make a commitment once I learn what direction my life will take?
In the past I have found that the deeper I enter into the advent season, the deeper my joy is at Christmas. I'm hoping that by focusing on the current waiting period of my discernment, I will find deeper peace when my search is complete.

Pax Christi!